Saturday, December 24, 2016

“News”letter for 2016.12.24


Activities since last newsletter: I went to Walt Disney World for a week. It was high 70s to low 80s during the day, and the day I got back to New Jersey, it snowed less than 12 hours after I landed.

Merry Christmas everyone! (or if you celebrate some other holiday, pretend I said that instead)

Tweet list: Tweets from the past three weeks

Sunday, December 4, 2016

“News”letter for 2016.12.03


Activities since last newsletter: My sister is in town for a month from Norway! Also, I bought a bottle of multivitamin gummies.

Link Time!


Note: I will be on vacation from Dec 10-16, so the next newsletter probably won’t go out until the 24th.

Sunday, November 20, 2016

“News”letter for 2016.11.19


Activities since last newsletter: I can’t remember

Link Time!



Article: New Jersey, at it again

Saturday, November 5, 2016

“News”letter for 2016.11.05


Activities since last newsletter: I cannot think of anything notable.

Thought: GO VOTE ON TUESDAY!!!

Link Time!



Tweet list: Best vines I found (don’t click while on your cell phone, probably won’t work properly)

Saturday, October 22, 2016

“News”letter for 2016.10.22


Activities since last newsletter: I bought Playstation VR. It is good.

Thought: I have no hard liquor in my home. It is gloomy.

Link Time!



Tweet list: Dr Seuss meets Trump (not Trump friendly so don’t click if you like him)

Article: Please stop, New Jersey

Saturday, October 8, 2016

“News”letter for 2016.10.08


Activities since last newsletter: I moved to a different cubicle at work.

Thought: I want pizza but I also don’t want to gain weight. Any ideas? (“Don’t eat all the pizza” is not an acceptable response)

Link Time!



Tweet list: Latest Trump tape analysis (not pro Trump so don’t click if you like him)


Youtube: Very fat cat

Article: Who watches C-SPAN?

Saturday, September 24, 2016

“News”letter for 2016.09.24


Activities since last newsletter: doubled my home internet speed to 100 megabits/second. Employer is now out of bankruptcy.


Thought: Will I sleep better now?

Fake Q&A time!

Q: Aeropostale is out of bankruptcy now! Congrats!
A: That’s not a question.

Q: Are you still employed by them?
A: Yes!
Q: Good?
A: An associate who sat next to me was let go on Thursday. So, not all good.
Q: But you’re ok?
A: Sure?

Q: Anything else interesting happen?
A: At a town hall meeting, I asked the last question, “Are redundancies over?”
Q: Isn’t that a weird way of asking if there will be more layoffs?
A: I didn’t want to say the word layoff and couldn’t think of anything better in the seconds I had to think of a question.
Q: Did people understand what that meant?
A: After the town hall meeting, two people thanked me for asking the question because EVERYONE was thinking that.
Q: Then why didn’t anyone else ask?
A: WHO KNOWS???
Q: Does this improve your opinion of 2016 so far?
A: No, my 2016 is still being a big dumpster fire. But it could have been worse.

Link Time!

Tweet list: Funny tweets this week (twitter account NOT needed)

Tweet list: Person gets on a plane… (twitter account NOT needed)

Tweet list: A black person’s view of Betty Shelby (not kind) (twitter account NOT needed)

Saturday, September 10, 2016

“News”letter for 2016.09.09


My past week’s activities: trying to make or fix a computer

Thought: why did i have to lose the last two weeks of my life to computers

Link Time!

Tweet list: Funny tweets this week (twitter account NOT needed)



Article: This toy is ridiculous or good

Friday, August 26, 2016

“News”letter for 2016.08.26


My past week’s activities: seeing the Oscar Meyer Weinermobile twice

Thought: That cannot be a good omen.

Before the links, a short announcement. This is the last weekly newsletter I’ll be sending out. In the future, I will send them out on a less frequent basis. Summer is ending, along with my summer Fridays (next Friday is the last time I get out at 2 PM).  On the other hand, if my employer does not get out of bankruptcy (see more here), I may end up with more time on my hands than I’d like, but nevermind that for now! Maybe I’ll send a newsletter out once or twice a month. Who knows...

Link Time!

Tweet list: Funny tweets this week (twitter account NOT needed)



Friday, August 19, 2016

“News”letter for 2016.08.19


My past week’s activities: Logging into facebook, MY EX-GIRLFRIEND IS IN TOKYO DISNEYLAND RIGHT NOW WATWATWATWATWAT???

Thought: daily naps?

Link Time!

Tweet list: Funny tweets this week (twitter account NOT needed)


Article: Is this good or bad (seriously though flood is bad)



Article: Give this journalist the Pulitzer Prize, story of the year (best headline)

Saturday, August 13, 2016

“News”letter for 2016.08.12


My past week’s activities: Staying inside when it’s 95 degrees outside

Thought: Can I get lazier?

Link Time!

Tweet list: Funny tweets this week (twitter account NOT needed)



Tweet list: Swimming While Black, a short story

Friday, August 5, 2016

“News”letter for 2016.08.05


My past week’s activities: sleeping poorly

Thought: Why can’t every day be Saturday?

Link Time!

Tweet list: Funny tweets this week (twitter account NOT needed)

Twitter Video: Cat confused by machine





Article: Never change, New Jersey

Saturday, July 30, 2016

“News”letter for 2016.07.29


My past week’s activities: not being on vacation

Thought: plush turtles?

Link Time!

Tweet list: Funny tweets this week (twitter account NOT needed)

Twitter Video: Bird is lazy



Article: Someone wanted to go back to prison???

Saturday, July 23, 2016

“News”letter for 2016.07.22


My past week’s activities: Measuring my poor sleep quality with a Jawbone UP3

Thought: Too hot outside

Link Time!

Tweet list: Funny tweets this week (twitter account NOT needed)



Article: You had one job



Article: What it's like to be black in Naperville, America (longish read, not funny)

Saturday, July 16, 2016

“News”letter for 2016.07.15


My past week’s activities: Sleeping, Finishing a bottle of tequila

Thought: Should I be lazy or super lazy today?

Link Time!

Tweet list: Funny tweets this week (twitter account NOT needed)





Article: The lives of nonviolent drug offenders after the President commuted their sentences (VERY VERY LONG READ, NOT FUNNY)

Friday, July 8, 2016

“News”letter for 2016.07.08


My past week’s activities: Sleeping very poorly, trying to play Pokemon Go but the server is busy

Thought: I have not bought a penguin in a while

Link Time!

Tweet list: Funny tweets this week (twitter account NOT needed)




Tweet list: One person’s thoughts about the Alton Sterling situation (warning: not funny, but imho worth reading if you are aware who he is)

Tweet list: Another person’s thoughts about the Alton Sterling situation (warning: strong language, not funny)

Friday, July 1, 2016

“News”letter for 2016.07.01


My past week’s activities: Sleeping, losing my wallet for 45 minutes

Thought: Disney World costs HOW much for a week?

Link Time!

Tweet list: Funny tweets this week (twitter account NOT needed)





Article: Cat causes thousands of $ of damage because cat

Friday, June 24, 2016

“News”letter for 2016.06.24


My past week’s activities: Sleeping poorly

Thoughts: I want to stop sleeping poorly

Link Time!



Self created Tweet List: Brexit by tweets (warning: strong language, long, took me two hours to make)