Short, dark tea times of the soul

by Colleen

I'm frequently up between the hours of 1 and 2 am. I don't mean to be; it just happens. One of the things that sucks about San Francisco is living in the butt of the continental US time zones. Being up at 1 am Central used to mean random gchats with friends in the east coast and west coast as we wound up our evenings and got ready for bed. 1 am Pacific is pretty much a dead zone: 4 am is about as somnolent as the city that never sleeps gets; at 3 am, Chicago and Indy are well past their REM stage; over here my friends are morning people; even in Asia most people are finishing up work or eating dinner - at least the ones in the time zones that matter are.

What's a night owl to do?

Tonight, or rather early this morning, I got this idea - for the same reasons above, my twitter feed basically dies after 1 am too - I'm now searching to see who people consider to be the "best" twitter accounts of the UK*, France, Germany, Spain...the EU, basically. Midnight in the Bay Area means the kickoff of a brand new day in Europe, so hopefully they'll end up acting as something of a "3rd shift" for news and links.

Stuff that's come up -

• @stealthmountain, probably not going to follow it, but conceptually it's pretty hilare, especially the tweets the account has favorited (favourited?)
• @pundamentalism may be the UK version of @bazecraze
• A surprising amount of Top UK Twitter Account lists suggest following @common_squirrel. Well, maybe I shouldn't be that surprised #british #subtlety. In the same vein, HuffPo makes up a surprising amount of these 'Top Twitter' articles. Is that all they report on these days?

Anyway, here's hoping twitter will generate me something of interest during this time-zone induced quiet time. Although, nothing too engrossing - I do have work in the morning.

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*OK this post contradicts almost everything I stated in the last post. eh.

The British are HERE

by Colleen

I once wrote a post about the strategic placement of British operatives in the Midwest as part of an initial conspiracy by HRH to retake our fair nation.

Well, I have news for you - it may be happening faster than a Britain can unintelligibly mutter 'Bobsyeruncle'.

Since my last report, I've observed multiple incidents in the past couple years of Britains taking to the streets of downtown Chicago, happily shopping at our stores, and enjoying quiet walks in our parks. There's even this: Britains sending their children to their own private-public school in the heart of Lincoln Park, the British School of Chicago. A few of these incidents made such an impression on me that I almost took the time to blog them here!

As undocumented and unverified as these sightings may be, take my word for it that the threat of a Tory uprising is eminent.This past month, your humble blogger relocated to the West Coast to start a new job and a new life, but mainly to better follow the rising success of promising young 49ers team (just kidding about the last...maybe). Aside from an alarming abundance of visitors and residents from across the pond, I'm fully convinced my new co-worker is a closeted British spy. 

to be continued...

As the bicennquattuordecimtennial, plus a score, (234th) anniversary of our nation's independence approaches...

by Colleen

I would like to point out that I heard yet another British accent today in the crowd of people waiting to cross the street with me. That's about the 5th one I've heard in the past 6 months. And no, these Brits are not dressed like tourists. How many British expats are living in our city right now? Why? And what are they up to? Fair citizens of Chicago, they are up to no good!

Well I have a message for them:
We kicked you out of this country in 1776 and we'll do it again!

Evidence of Tory Sleeper Cells in Chicago:

- Increase in Tea (and coffee) Tariffs
That's right, all soft drinks including coffee and tea went from a 1% to 6.25% tax rate effective this past Sept. 1st.  Brits arrive in our city and taxes go up. Coincidence? I think not. Is Daley just a Limey shill?

- Chicago loses 2016 Olympic bid, Britain hosts 2012 Olympics
In possibly the most understated, albeit classy, handing off of the Olympic flag yet, Beckham sat atop a red double-decker bus and some British dude slowly waved the Olympic flag as Bei-Jing handed the reins over to London. Stately London, who you know will manage to host a smashing Olympics on probably half the 2008 Olympics budget. Bah.
While the English get 2012, Chicagoans get - nothing! Alright Britain, you can have your scone and eat it too....this time.

- Did I mention I heard 5 people speaking the Queen's English in the past 6 months?
 That's a lot.

Possible updates later. In the meantime, remember: Tory Sleeper Cells - If you see something, say something. Thank you for your time.

Yikes: