The British are HERE

by Colleen

I once wrote a post about the strategic placement of British operatives in the Midwest as part of an initial conspiracy by HRH to retake our fair nation.

Well, I have news for you - it may be happening faster than a Britain can unintelligibly mutter 'Bobsyeruncle'.

Since my last report, I've observed multiple incidents in the past couple years of Britains taking to the streets of downtown Chicago, happily shopping at our stores, and enjoying quiet walks in our parks. There's even this: Britains sending their children to their own private-public school in the heart of Lincoln Park, the British School of Chicago. A few of these incidents made such an impression on me that I almost took the time to blog them here!

As undocumented and unverified as these sightings may be, take my word for it that the threat of a Tory uprising is eminent.This past month, your humble blogger relocated to the West Coast to start a new job and a new life, but mainly to better follow the rising success of promising young 49ers team (just kidding about the last...maybe). Aside from an alarming abundance of visitors and residents from across the pond, I'm fully convinced my new co-worker is a closeted British spy. 

to be continued...

As the bicennquattuordecimtennial, plus a score, (234th) anniversary of our nation's independence approaches...

by Colleen

I would like to point out that I heard yet another British accent today in the crowd of people waiting to cross the street with me. That's about the 5th one I've heard in the past 6 months. And no, these Brits are not dressed like tourists. How many British expats are living in our city right now? Why? And what are they up to? Fair citizens of Chicago, they are up to no good!

Well I have a message for them:
We kicked you out of this country in 1776 and we'll do it again!

Evidence of Tory Sleeper Cells in Chicago:

- Increase in Tea (and coffee) Tariffs
That's right, all soft drinks including coffee and tea went from a 1% to 6.25% tax rate effective this past Sept. 1st.  Brits arrive in our city and taxes go up. Coincidence? I think not. Is Daley just a Limey shill?

- Chicago loses 2016 Olympic bid, Britain hosts 2012 Olympics
In possibly the most understated, albeit classy, handing off of the Olympic flag yet, Beckham sat atop a red double-decker bus and some British dude slowly waved the Olympic flag as Bei-Jing handed the reins over to London. Stately London, who you know will manage to host a smashing Olympics on probably half the 2008 Olympics budget. Bah.
While the English get 2012, Chicagoans get - nothing! Alright Britain, you can have your scone and eat it too....this time.

- Did I mention I heard 5 people speaking the Queen's English in the past 6 months?
 That's a lot.

Possible updates later. In the meantime, remember: Tory Sleeper Cells - If you see something, say something. Thank you for your time.

Yikes: