Colleen's Fables: The Mouse and the Lion

by Colleen

Thunder had been rumbling for most of the day, and the sky was so overcast it was hard to tell when dawn's early light ended and 'just a dreary day' began. That afternoon, the inevitable happened and the clouds poured forth their bounty. An unfortunate field mouse was caught in the downpour and skittered around until he finally found a rocky cavern to take shelter in.

The rain showed no sign of letting up. As he caught his breath and prepared to settle in for the long haul, he realized the ragged breathing sound behind him wasn't just the wind, it was, in fact, a creature breathing. Turning around, he gave a squeak of dismay when he realized the animal sharing the cave with him was a lion.

'Don't eat me!' he squeaked.
'ARRRAAAGHHHHHHHHH' replied the lion.

The mouse realized the lion was in great pain and crept a little closer. In one of the lion's front paws was a thorn. The lion was licking and favoring this paw, but couldn't get his teeth around the thorn at the right angle to be able to pull it out.

'Oh you're hurt! I can help you remove that thorn.'
'AARRRRRRRRAaaarrrrghhhhrraa.'
'...'
'Go away little mouse.'
'No really, I can help.'
'I said GO AWAY.'
'But that thing is obviously tormenting you. It would just take a moment for me..'
'What so as soon as you removed it, the blood flow to the wound would return and gush out and I'd bleed to death in SECONDS?!'
'I'm sure that thing is no where near close to a major artery or vein.'
'What, you're a doctor too?'
'No...but come on, anyone can see how much pain you're in. It would be but a simple thing for me to just reach in and get it out.'
'And infect the whole area while you're at it. The whole thing will go septic.'
'...'
'This is ridiculous. Me, in the prime of my life, thorned in the paw. A thorn! In my paw! How can I do anything now? Oh it pains me so.'
'...'

'I can't roam the fields now. I just can't. What with this paw and everything. I can barely stand! And leading the pride? How am I supposed to that? You tell me? Everyone's depending on me...lead the hunt, watch out for the stragglers, and here I am absolutely incapciated. And if the thorn does get removed? What then, a slow death by infection? A gaping whole in my paw that will shoot agony up my leg with every step I take? AAAAARRRHGHhhhhhhhhhhhagaaaaaaaaaaaghg.'

'Good Lion, if you would just raise your paw up ever so slightly, I can give that thing a yank, and we can use some of these leaves, cleaned off by the rain, to staunch any blood immediatly after. Should make a nice poultice and you'll be back on your feet in no time.'

'Unless those leaves are oleandar. Then I'll be dead in 10 minutes. I read about it. They could be oleandar. Do you know what oleandar looks like? I don't. I guess we'd find out in about 10 minutes though, if we did try your suggestion.'
'...'
'...'

'Have you tried walking and just not putting any weight on that one paw?'
'Using my three other legs? That puts my left forarm in a really, really bad postion. Bearing all my weight in front, I'm liable to twist it the first time I step down. Just a little uneveness in the ground, that's all it takes. Then where would I be?'
'...'
'...'
'Do you want me to find your wife or one of your children, to help you up?'
'They're travelling right now. Far from here.'
'...'
'...'


'...'
'...'
'What's that? What's that sound you're making?'
'Oh, sorry, I was just humming,' said the mouse.
'Well, you're off key.'
'...'

The rain abated as rains usually do: from a down pour, to a steady rain, to a light rain, and then a drizzle. The mouse crept out of the cave and into the fading light of the late afternoon.

'AAArrrrghhhhhh...'

Colleen's Fables: The Tortise and the Hare

A tortise and a hare decided to race one day. So they gathered the woodland creatures together, and marked off the course: 100 yards- 50 out and 50 back. The starting line was set at the break where the forest turned into meadow and the turning point would be at the old, rotted stump. Badger agreed to be the referee and official race starter, and the chipmunks chittered excitedly as the hare and tortise lined up.

BLAM!

Badger fired the starting gun and they were off! The hare raced down the straight away and rounded the stump as the tortise took slow, steady steps towards his goal. The hare bounded back towards the start, picking up speed with each stride. He passed the tortise again and clocked a strong finish at 4.3 seconds. He laughed, and headed off into the forest surrounded by a cheering entourage of field mice, squirrels and other such creatures, while the tortise slowly, but steadily continued on his course.

Half an hour later the tortise crossed the finished line to the half hearted applause of a couple of chipmunks who had found a nice patch of clover earlier and now were slowly coming out of their food coma. Satisfied by a job well done, the tortise currently does the motivational speech circuit, speaking to mostly empty rooms and the occaisional Days Inn staffperson looking for a place to sneak a nap while on the job.

The hare went to Vegas with some of the field mice and a tipsy young rabbit with nice fur.


- And that's real life, baby.