Something Sucks On My Body

by Hubert

Mosquitoes mostly. Ok, completely. That's why I generally stay indoors. Oh, and I do poorly in hot and humid weather.

So I'm at a friend's place today and I realize I don't like the following things:

Beer
Pools
Bugs
The sun
Relish
Beer

Also, I don't know how to make conversation with people I don't know. But that's always been the case.

So I can't tell if I've just been depressed for the past two years or I'm supposed to feel like this.

And then...I think...

I didn't bring Big Fat Penguin! Yes! That was the problem. I should bring Big Fat Penguin to more parties. People like talking to giant plush penguins.

edit: Next morning, looked at my feet and legs, three dozen mosquito bites. Now to go to the pharmacy to get anti itch cream...